How Dating Apps Made Me Think Differently About The Colour Of My Skin

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As a person of colour, using dating apps has been an eye-opening experience for me. It has forced me to confront the impact of race on my dating life and has made me think differently about the colour of my skin. In this article, I will share my personal journey and how dating apps have shaped my perspective on race and relationships.

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Confronting Implicit Bias

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When I first started using dating apps, I was hopeful that I would be able to connect with people based on my personality and interests, rather than the colour of my skin. However, I quickly realized that race played a significant role in the way I was perceived by potential matches. I encountered implicit bias in the form of racial preferences and discriminatory comments, which made me question how my skin colour affected my desirability.

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Navigating Racial Preferences

One of the most challenging aspects of using dating apps as a person of colour is navigating racial preferences. It was disheartening to see profiles that explicitly stated preferences for certain races or included racially charged language. This made me feel like my worth was being reduced to the colour of my skin, rather than my personality or character. It forced me to confront the reality that some people would never see past my race, no matter how much I tried to connect with them.

Confronting Stereotypes

Another aspect of using dating apps that made me think differently about the colour of my skin was confronting stereotypes. I often felt pressure to fit into preconceived notions of what it means to be a person of colour, which made it difficult to express my true self. I found myself constantly having to prove that I didn't fit into these stereotypes, which was exhausting and disheartening. It made me realize that my skin colour was being used as a basis for judgement, rather than who I am as a person.

Challenging Internalized Racism

Using dating apps also forced me to confront my own internalized racism. I found myself questioning whether I was being too sensitive about racial preferences or if I was overthinking the impact of race on my dating experiences. It made me realize that even as a person of colour, I had internalized societal messages about race and desirability, which affected my self-esteem and confidence.

Seeking Authentic Connections

Despite the challenges I faced, using dating apps also allowed me to seek authentic connections with people who saw beyond the colour of my skin. I was able to connect with individuals who appreciated me for who I am, rather than making assumptions based on my race. These connections helped me to reaffirm my value and challenged the negative experiences I had encountered on the app.

Embracing My Identity

Ultimately, using dating apps as a person of colour has made me think differently about the colour of my skin. It has forced me to confront the impact of race on my dating life and has challenged me to embrace my identity in a society that too often reduces people to their skin colour. While I have faced discrimination and prejudice, I have also found strength in my experiences and have learned to value myself beyond societal expectations.

Conclusion

Using dating apps as a person of colour has been a complex and challenging experience. It has forced me to confront implicit bias, navigate racial preferences, confront stereotypes, challenge internalized racism, and seek authentic connections. Despite the difficulties, it has also allowed me to embrace my identity and value myself beyond societal expectations. I hope that by sharing my journey, others can also reflect on the impact of race on their own dating experiences and work towards creating a more inclusive and respectful dating environment for all.